Subject to Change

He’s on his way to get a beer right now.

Go ahead and delay the digital television transition.

I can’t wait to roll out the “Obama lied. DTV Died!” bumper stickers.

When not to take a phone call: while gloved and murdering someone. Just let it go to voicemail.

In the past month it been more hazardous to…

A. Be deployed on Iraq.

or

B. Attend a monster truck rally.

Statistically speaking I think they’re probably close right now.

Kelly and I rented the movie Felon a while back. It was an infuriating movie.

The basic story line is that a burglar attempts to break into an average suburban home. He’s chased out onto the lawn by the man of the house, who finally catches up to him an clobbers him with a baseball bat. The burglar dies and the homeowner is sent to prison for excessive use of force. He finds himself trapped in the system as the crooked cops and gangs in the prison bring him down to their level. His sentence is extended and his marriage breaks up as a result of his attempt to defend his family in the first place.

What’s infuriating about this movie is the truth of it. You can get into serious trouble attempting to defend your property and your family. If someone breaks into your home and you kill them you could very well be sent to prison. Never mind that if you chase the burglar or rapist away they could come back more heavily armed.

Prison time serves little purpose in a case like this, because the individual in question doesn’t need to be corrected. It’s not as if anyone ever becomes a serial home defender. What exactly are we trying to scare out of them by sending them to jail?

You know what an appropriate penalty would be for someone who kills an intruder? Make them put up a yard sign advertising the killing. That way the innocent intruders know to stay away.

Something interesting happened in the past week. There’s a representative at Blue Cross who finally. took an active interest in our case. We had a conference call with her and explained that we’d like our situation to be investigated to see if there’s a pattern with the hospital we’re dealing with. We also wanted to clarify the timeline, so that we’re all on the same page.

Last week I contacted this representative to check up on things and she told me that her position was one of 1,500 that had been downsized. I couldn’t help but laugh, and then I emailed her back to tell her I’d provide a reference if she needed one. She promised to continue on our case as long as she could. “You may as well go out with a bang,” was my response.

Madison - Gov. Jim Doyle on Friday signed an executive order creating an Office of Recovery and Reinvestment to advise him and other state officials on how to spend what is expected to be as much $3.5 billion from the federal economic stimulus package.

“Through this new office, we will work to turn federal stimulus money into paychecks as efficiently and quickly as possible,” Doyle said.

…Paychecks for those 15 people who are going to piss away half the stimulus money by studying it.

Meet Hope and Change, the two creepiest kids ever.

Why is Virginia Tech attracting insane Asian kids?

One of the digital billboards East of downtown has a message from the new president: “Yes we can!”

Drive by and check it out in all its creepy splendor. I’m sure this is intended to inspire hope. I just couldn’t help thinking I’d traveled back in time to Orwell’s 1984.