Why the Republican Party Should Choose Me to Run Against Herb Kohl

Have you people in the Republican party come to the realization that you're not going to beat Herb Kohl this election? Do you want to beat him next time? Or, are you counting on him getting tired of the easy life?

It's imperative that you choose a candidate to run against Herb, for two reasons:

1. To channel democratic money away from other campaigns.


2. To soften Herb Kohl up and make him beatable in the next election.

You need a candidate with no political future, someone who can go down in flames and take Herb with him, someone who can do the maximum damage with the fewest dollars, a nuclear candidate. Who have you got? Is Ed Thompson busy?

Find someone, or consider me. I'm exactly the type of candidate you need: someone who can spend campaign dollars with reckless abandon and get dirty without worry of ruining their political career. I'd love to run, just to find out what skeletons I've got in my closet.

For every picture of Herb in front of a barn or a cow, I'll give you a picture of me in front of two barns milking a cow. I'll even let a cow lick my face if it will help.

For every picture of Herb with a kid in his lap, I'll give you a picture of me with a kid on each shoulder eating an ice cream bar. I'll even let a kid lick my face if it will help.

What are my Qualifications?

Ok, so I've never held office before. I'm an engineer.

But, Herb was just "a business man" before he got elected. So he can add, subtract, multiply, and divide?

Big deal!!! I can do integral calculus. Or, at least I could once.

So, Republicans, you've got a sucker begging to run against Kohl. As evidenced by comments made here on this blog, I already have bi-partisan support! Are you in or out?