Best Quotes of Convention

Since I usually try to keep my blog strictly political, I refrained from posting this after convention. But, now that Aaron's away, I'll post it here.

Here are the best non-speech quotes from the 2006 Republican convention. Nothing will be attributed to the source, in order to protect the innocent.

• Is that a rifle in your pants or a handgun?
• Well, it would be on my belt, not in my pants.
• Representative Robin Vos: He gets the party hoppin', y'all.
• Jenna, it's time to get on the shore.
• That's going to go over them like a pregnant pole vaulter.
• Did I get the riddle?
• I don't mind the semen blanket.
• Seriously, it's part of their plea deal. They're not volunteers--they're convicts.
  
• Sensei James...ABs are better than Bs.
• How fitting that the good Representative had karaoke--it's time for her swan song.
• You don't even want to know what goes behind those scenes...I'm so glad there's a big curtain.
• So who here completely slept through Petri?
• What--Schultz and Kedzie spent the night together? Why am I not surprised?
• And then the esteemed Representative said, "You wanna go, bitches?"
  
• I want to be Marcus Gumz' campaign manager. Seriously. And I'm going to use his lit for my campaign.